13 Apr The Four Agreements And Recovery
If you do your best, you can increase your self-esteem and avoid self-abuse, self-judgment and the most important regrets of your actions. This runs counter to the main approach of the four agreements, which is to always conclude positive agreements with themselves. We have already mentioned that Ruiz himself was affected by addiction and that he was personally inspired by the writing of this book. His son Jose fought and hit a methamphetamine addiction that turned Don Miguel into an author and a pro-convalescent. Here`s another example: for centuries, we`ve made the agreement that suffering is inevitable (or worse- “life sucks, then you die”). The agreement to believe in suffering is so much part of our consciousness that we do not even question it. All the agreements, consciously and unconsciously, that we have inherited form our belief system. Our belief system controls our lives. Ruiz says that if we want to change our lives, we have to change our agreements.
For anyone trying to make changes in their lives, “Surrender” is one of the hardest things. The importance of “Surrender” generates so many agreements that we have in mind: through this process known as domestication, we have concluded agreements in our minds about who we are, who we are not, who we should be and who we should not be. We have grown to live on the basis of the agreements we have made with ourselves – agreements that are born from the opinions of others. In other words, the life we lead is more motivated by the opinions we have learned from others than by those we would choose ourselves. In his bestseller The Four Agreements, author Don Miguel Ruiz defines an “agreement” as a code of understanding and communication. From an early age and throughout our lives, we develop thousands of agreements with ourselves, some positive and some not. Agreements based on fear or negative agreements can prevent us from exploiting our full potential and cause immense misfortunes in our lives. This is especially true for those who are struggling with addiction. These individuals often find themselves in destructive self-centered arrangements such as shame, doubt about themselves and judgment about themselves and others. Our agreements are deeply rooted in our essence.
When we were children, we learned behaviours and habits at school, at home, with adults and children, and we were rewarded when we did something good and punished ourselves if we didn`t. The opinions and reactions of others to our behaviour have become very influential in the habits we have established for ourselves. Learning to live according to the four chords is the antithesis of the addict`s life while he is in the depths of his addiction. That`s why it seems to help. The addict has become accustomed to an increasingly dangerous and harmful lifestyle. When used, the parts of the brain used for existence and decision-making are largely disabled.